“Attitude determines altitude”
I am a firm believer in the concept of “Attitude determines altitude” and continually strive to conduct myself with integrity at all times, with all people. To be honest without harm, to work with people with compassion and love. I have made it my goal this year to say what I think but only when it matters (this will be a work in progress so those who know me, be kind!). This means I don’t have to add my two bits worth every time but it does mean if someone asks me for a response I will do it honestly and with mountains of love.
So with the vehement conviction of the born again, the ex-smoker, the recovering alcoholic, I was feeling a simmering frustration with people unable to say what they think, incapable or responding when asked for a response. I mean the Ostrich Brigade. You know the ones, permanently with their head in the sand. Those people who prefer to pretend they didn’t see that message, hear that phone call or see you in the street because they don’t have the strength to say Yes, No or Maybe.
I was frustrated, for a minute, and then I reminded myself that I have done it (not a lot, not often but I’ve done it). I realised that these people didn’t need my frustration and more importantly I didn’t need that kind of frustration in my life. Despite being given permission to say no, some still can’t handle the responsibility. They don’t intend to be rude, they don’t mean to cause you uncertainty or anxiety, they don’t intend to be inconsiderate because the reality is they’re not thinking about you, they are trying to preserve themselves (albeit in a very primitive way). Instead I need to remind myself of the fear they must be experiencing, the dread. Imagine living your life like that?! Can you imagine if they struggle to say, “no I can’t make your event”, what serious, important, life decisions must paralyse them!
The reality is that no one is perfect and certainly not everyone will conduct themselves according to the behaviour you expect from yourself. A great quote I heard was from Linda Toupin: “I work with those who work with me. The rest I love for where they’re at and move on without them” (I hope that’s right, just wanted to acknowledge this is not my own wisdom). This quote says it all really. We can only work with people who want to engage with us. I pulled my head out of the sand a little while ago and continually resist the temptation to go back there. I must therefore have nothing but compassion for those who wish to remain. But I am on a journey so although I love them, it’s time to move on without them. I’ve made that decision. I don’t have time to wait but I’m there if they ever look up.